


Heartache hurts more than physical wounds

by PerfectStormVirgil



Category: Game Theorists - Fandom, youtube-rpf
Genre: Anxious Steph(implied), F/F, F/M, Matpat's diet coke addiction, Multi, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-24 01:42:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12002289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerfectStormVirgil/pseuds/PerfectStormVirgil
Summary: It was the worst pain Matthew ever felt, and he wouldn’t wish it on his greatest enemy





	Heartache hurts more than physical wounds

Matthew Patrick sat at his desk, the rhythmic clicking of his keyboard nearly drowning out the sound of rain against his window. The screen illuminated his tearstained face with an unsettling glow. The script for his next theory seemed to be coming along nicely until he sat back and red what he had so far.

 

The words were too mechanical, not thought out and intelligent as his theories tended to be, and the jokes littered in were too dry and empty to be entertaining; any loyal theorists would notice the sudden switch from the upbeat bubbly Matpat they’d come to love to this empty, barely functioning version of him caused by heartbreak.

 

He sighed, pushing his chair away from the desk. He stood and walked to the fridge, taking a can of diet coke and fiddling with the tab until the satisfying snap of the tab followed by the hissing sound of fizz broke the silence. Matthew drank the soda, the fizz burning his throat on the way down in a way that helped him stay calm.since Stephanie had said she needed to see other people, Mat had only left his room for essentials; bathroom, Diet Coke, and once every day or two, to force food down his throat. He felt off constantly; as if his heart was struggling, and his eyes stung under the weight of unshed tears.  But he’d survive. That’s the only thing he could say to concerned family members and friends who knew about the split; ‘I’ll survive’, as if he couldn’t believe he’d feel better or move on, just that he’d continue to survive.

She hadn’t even said goodbye, just left a note on the table and empty spaces where her stuff once was. All of this because of seeds of doubt hidden in their minds. 

 

\--------------8 days ago--------

**_Matthew_ ** **_  
_ ** Oh god. It was never good when she said his full name like that. He braced himself, then continued to read the letter.

**_Look, I…. don’t know if this is going to end up working out…._ **

**_I keep trying to push you to be things that I really know you’re not._ **

He swallowed, his hand shaking. He wasn’t even that far in yet and already the bombshell was .dropped. 

**_Everything about relationships makes me feel sick right now… I’m not even sure of myself right now. You can’t help me and I need to help myself.._ **

**_I still want you around, this may even just be a break...again… because I’m too weak and I feel like I’m lying to you which makes me feel sick constantly._ **

His ears were ringing, and his eyes fogged with unshed tears…. But he had to read the whole thing….

**_I know I’m rambling, just… these last few days have been...weird. Being social again has been… weird._ **

Matthew had supported her decision to go to college wholeheartedly, something that he felt regret for in the pit of stomach. 

**_I don’t know, I just can’t do this right now. Every time you call me beautiful i feel strangely guilty, and i can't right now,  I’m sorry this is selfish, this is really selfish._ **

**_-Steph_ **

\------present-----

Matt had read the letter over and over, had basically memorized it. His family had all seen straight through his smiles when they facetimed him to check up.

He’d been a mess for two weeks until Stephanie texted him

**Hey Matt, me and a friend are going to spend the day downtown, do you want to come?**

He buzzed with adrenaline, a smile gracing his features. 

**Sure Steph, what time?**

**Flagpole, 9 am**

**\----------------------------------------------------------**

Matt saw two figures under the flagpole, and grinned. He hugged Stephenie and beamed at the friend “you look familiar…”

She smiled, shaking his hand. “Morgan Want.”

He nodded, recognising the name of Nathan Smith’s ex girlfriend. 

The day started smoothly, with Matt often lagging behind a bit and neither noticing. Steph did want him to still be in her life, she said it… so why did she forget he existed?

He watched the girls shop, getting matching bracelets. Stephanie’s had  _ Favorit  _ written on it, and Morgans had  _ eperson  _ etched into hers. Matt just grinned, but it was fake. 

Morgan was… not hiding anything. She stared longingly at Stephanie, obviously lovesick. 

Matt felt dread take him over as he remembered that Steph wasn’t his anymore, and could  easily be taken, Matthew’s feelings be damned.

**  
**  


\-------

Matthew spoke to Nate. it was his comfort. He was the person he could turn to. “Yeah, if it makes you feel any better if they are dating, she’s dating my ex” 

Matt sighed and rubbed his temples. “Nate that makes me feel worse.”

The musician shrugged with an apologetic look. “Hey, I’m sorry dude…”

\-----------------

It was harder for him to post videos now. He had many takes, due to the fact he couldn’t keep his voice steady. The many comments reflected this, and he just  read them, knowing it was something he likely would not be able to fix.

It was the worst pain Matthew ever felt, and he wouldn’t wish it on his greatest enemy


End file.
